When we hear the word non-resistance it conjures up images of peaceful protests and reminds us of great people who have changed the world such as Ghandi and Martin Luther King Jr. but what does it mean to us as individuals? How is it useful to our individual expansion? How does it work? How do we incorporate it into our lives and how can we use it to change us and change the world?
I have discovered that non-resistance is one of the most important tools to have in our arsenal. It allows us to free ourselves from false paradigms. It allows us to accept the self with all of our perceived flaws. It is acceptance but it is not lack of action. On the contrary; it allows us to act in a space that flows and in accordance with the law of attraction. Why? because what we resist will always persist.
Becoming angry, dismayed or sad about a situation offers resistance to it. It blocks the flow of allowing what we want to come into our existence. However; blocking what are perceived as “negative” emotions does not allow for flow either. So what is one to do? Allow yourself to become angry, hurt, etc. however; don’t just look at the emotion. Allow yourself to feel it as fully as possible from the space of your heart center.
Once you feel it fully; ask it to take you to the first time you felt this way. When you have reached that memory, that space within the self where you see your child having this emotion, validate it. I don’t mean hug the child and console them. That would allow the child to continue to feel like a victim. Instead; look at the child and simply tell that child that it is fine to have these feelings. These feelings that are useful and wanted, they are tools that alert us to the fact that something is not right. That something needs to be healed. Once the child is through the emotion, begin a conversation with the child to further validate, empower and reprogram the inner child. Let them know that it is their choice as to how they want to feel and what they wish to align with in their life. That whomever taught them this was in the wrong but it was simply that they lacked understanding. They did not have the tools that you possess. Now you have rid yourself of this shadow and you should be able to come back out of this feeling renewed. As if what was once a blur; is an illuminated space within the self. We did not resist the emotion, we allowed it and we healed it through empowerment. We embraced the emotion and we now see it as a thing of value. Soon, the child will no longer need a parent, it will completely integrate with the adult. There will be no reason to be a parent because what was once a wounded child inside the self will cease to exist. We begin to see that all things in life are of value. We can see clearly and make more sound decisions because they are not coming from a space of resistance from the wounded inner child. Conversely; the more we resist our pain, the more it persists. It persists because it is calling us to heal. It is calling us to reprogram and empower the self.
Being upset about poverty, war, what others are doing, etc, is being in a space of resistance as well. We must understand that we have aligned ourselves with everything that exists in our reality and the power is within us to choose not to align with it. This does not mean we should just ignore things. Not at all. We can and should acknowledge everything that is a part of our reality. After all, we chose to be born when and where we were born and every decision we have made has aligned us with where we are now, at this very moment.
Let’s say I have aligned myself with poverty but I would like to align myself with abundance. If I continue to feel as if I am impoverished, I will never be able to align myself with abundance or it will fall short of what I really want. However; if every time I have some sort of hurtful feeling about poverty or lack or I find myself blaming the system, blaming my parents, etc. I go into those feelings and perform the exercise that I just outlined. Then I can heal myself of this programming that makes me feel like a victim of circumstances, I will see how I can manifest my way to abundance because I am empowered. My emotions towards myself change and my emotions towards poverty change. I am no longer attached and therefore no longer in alignment with poverty. I have nowhere to go but into alignment with abundance.If every individual on this planet were to do this, there would be no poverty because there would be no energy alignment for it to exist. Nobody would be in resistance to it.
So what does this look like on a larger scale? As an example. I used to work for one of the largest LGBT (lesbian,gay, bisexual and transgender) political advocacy organizations in the U.S. LGBT folks are certainly an oppressed group of people. They worked tirelessly for years in attempting to figure out what would help for them to start to achieve some semblance of equality. The Stonewall Riots in 1969 certainly helped to get them noticed but it would be decades before they started to see real change for those in their community. Why? because as a group, they were aligned with being treated horribly, murdered and the like. They were hurt and angry at those that were oppressing them. They were acting with a great deal of resistance. This is understandable. After all; those that were not in their group saw them as a threat. As different and scary. As people to watch out for because they were hurting the structure of society and they treated them accordingly. It was not until they took the stance of non-resistance that things started to change. Advocates began to approach non-LGBT people with love, caring and kindness. They worked to understand why they feared them. They become self-empowered through self-love and they began to move mountains in a very short time frame.
It has been my experience that all people will respond to love. However; most of us do not know what self-love looks like so we are not in a space of being able to give it to others. We must learn to love the self unconditionally, the good, the bad and the ugly. We must be in a space of non-resistance to the self in order to be able to be in a space of non-resistance to all that is around us. Only then can be effect change for ourselves and change for this planet. It is one of the most important tools of change that we can develop. It is a tool of love. If you find yourself feeling emotional over something and want to reply to someone or something, always ask yourself; “am I acting out of a space of resistance or non-resistance?”. I promise you that if you work towards acting out of non-resistance; you will get a lot further, a lot faster.
Kim Gilster is a spiritual teacher, healer and coach. To find out more about her, please click here.