Who’s fault is it? Who do you blame? Is there anyone or anything to blame or find fault with?

In a word. No. We hear many spiritual teachers talk about not blaming others or ourselves. We hear them talk about this concept of everything is as it should be. We sometimes hear that we should just love everyone and everything however; it’s not that simple. Conversely; it is that simple. Huh? The paradox here is that it becomes simple when we heal. However; sometimes to heal means to have some sort of understanding of why something is happening and what it means to us. Being consciously aware is part of the key to healing. The main concept to understand in order to make sense of these things is energy alignments. Once we really start to understand the ways that energy aligns, we can then become free of blaming ourselves and others for what is happening or has happened in the past.

What I see and hear from people working on healing and spiritual evolution is that they begin to blame themselves for everything. They work to resonate away from blaming others but they do not understand that blaming themselves is worse. What this can look like is well; it was me who did this or that, it was my fault, I should not do this or I should not have done that. I will tell you that if something happened in your reality, it is what is supposed to have happened. It was you aligning with a situation in whatever way you did, in order to learn what you came here to learn. Conversely; if there was in interaction, there is something that those you were interacting with aligned with in order to learn what they came here to learn. How does this work? Well, if we understand free will, we have the answer (see my article on free will for further understanding http://kimgilster.com/2014/12/26/free-will/). Everything that happens in our life is something that we have aligned with to give us a plethora of opportunities. We are certainly responsible but we are not to blame. Something that looks like pain for ourselves or for others is an alignment as well as things that look and feel like joy or any other feeling that a situation may be giving us.

There are so many ways that these alignments can happen that it is impossible to list them all here but I will give you some examples. Say you were in an abusive relationship; someone was just awful to you in whatever way. You may have aligned with this experience in order to heal some of the false programming from your childhood. There is something that needs to be healed, there is not something wrong with you personally. So you gave yourself the opportunity to heal through this experience. If the opportunity is not seized, you will create a pattern on some level or another in order to continue to give yourself the opportunity. The feelings need to be felt over and over again to alert you to the fact that something needs to be healed. The person that is abusing you has also aligned with something they need healed. Their anger is alerting them to the fact that they need to heal something. You may have chosen to align with the experiences you had as a child to push you to learn all sorts of things and you continue to want to teach yourself. Energy alignments are not usually very conscious until we understand that we are aligning with things and we begin healing ourselves.

Another sort of alignment that we may consider to be positive is that you aligned yourself with a job you have been wanting for a long time. This sort of alignment is often more conscious because you may have consciously worked towards the goal of getting this sort of position for a long time. But what about the person that worked harder and shined brighter but didn’t get the job? They are not in alignment with it. You were because your energy was there. You believed it with all your heart. They may have doubts. Things lingering in the background of their mind from childhood or other experiences that are not healed enough to cause the energy alignment they were looking for. The person that got the job was necessarily more healthy or evolved, their energy was simply aligned to the experience. They may have many more issues somewhere else in their reality but those issues are not out of line with them being able to create the job they wanted. Perhaps the job is in alignment with one person because they have a lot to learn by taking the position while the person that did not get the job stands little to gain from it. Remember too that there are other people involved. The energies of people such as those we will be working with, customers, etc, have to be in alignment with our energies.

Ultimately, the law of attraction says that what we want has to come into our reality. There are many clauses though. We have to truly want it. We have to truly want it with every fiber of who we are. We have to be able to feel what we want. When we own it, feel it and know it, it has to come into being. However; the way that the guides and source energies work to get you there can be painful, it can feel crazy, etc. Your energy has to be in alignment with others involved and you must clear out anything that is preventing you from having what you are attempting to align with. So, the tools will be provided. The tools may look like, ways to take better care of your physical health, ways to work on healing, a stepping stone such as going back to school or getting material things in your reality that don’t seem associated but are and sometimes bringing someone into your life that has no logical association with what you want but there is a round about way they are associated with it. The person could simply be there to help provide you with the energy to push you towards what you want. All of these things are energy alignments that you created because you are telling the universe what you want.

Telling the universe what you do not want is akin to telling it that you want it. Huh? source energy does not understand I don’t. Say you say that you do not want to be in a relationship that is not loving. It will hear that you want to be in a relationship that is not loving and provide you that. It’s fine to recognize what you do not want, that can lead you to realizing what you do want when you ask yourself why you don’t want it. However; do your best to not align with the energy of what you do not want. Decide to get into a space of non-resistance to it (To learn how to be in a space of non-resistance please see my blog on non-resistance http://kimgilster.com/2014/12/27/non-resistance/).

Asking ourselves how we aligned with people, places things and experiences is very empowering. It’s one of the most self aware exercises we can do for ourselves. However; if we are asking ourselves from the space of our brain, we will normally get a skewed answer. Our brains have been falsely programmed with a plethora of false emotions. Instead, as yourself how you feel and then feel the feelings that resonate in your body. That is where the truth lies. Be prepared for the answer that you receive because it is not often obvious to you and particularly when you first start to practice learning how your energies are aligning and why.

I would love to hear some of the ways that you have realized that your energy has aligned with certain experiences. If you are confused about them, I can help guide you to realize them and work to get into alignment with what you really want in your life.

Kim Gilster is a spiritual teacher, healer and coach. To find out more about her, please click here.