How To Trust Yourself

Brene-Brown-from-The-Gifts-of-Imperfection

Learning to trust yourself is one of the scariest parts of expansion and love. After all, most of us beat ourselves up all the time. We are taught that we do not “deserve” to be happy, healthy, have abundance, etc. We are taught there are rules in place that govern how we must feel, how we must act and that to act in accordance to loving the self is egotistic and selfish. So how can it feel good to really embrace yourself? We must learn to fully trust ourselves. To stop putting ultimate trust in ourselves and in things outside of ourselves. So how do we get there?

The first part of this is to simply realize that we are afraid to fully love ourselves because we do not trust ourselves. We do not trust that when we feel bad it’s fine to feel that way. That there is no right or wrong way to feel. That if something truly makes us feel bad, it is telling us that there is something wrong with a situation or what is going on. We are not the problem, we never were. That when we feel sad, angry, jealous, etc, we are being told something about the self. Take jealousy. Jealousy is not a bad feeling to have. It tells us that there is something that someone has that is appealing to us. It tells us that there is something we want and that we may not feel like we deserve it for whatever reason. To recognize it as this allows us to recognize what we want and work through what is blocking us from having it. Anger is another feeling we are told is unacceptable. I do not agree at all. I know that when I am angry about something or at someone it allows me to feel a bit more empowered and alerts me to the fact that there is something that I need to address that is causing me to feel this way. Anger is the main emotion that helps me to see that I am in resistance to something or someone. No other feeling helps me with getting into a space of non resistance better than anger. So, instead of telling myself that I am wrong, I question where the feeling is coming from, I question how I am in resistance to a situation, person, place or thing. When I release this resistance, it helps me to find a space of self acceptance. So anger helps me to learn to trust myself. So allowing space and being in a space of not resisting is one way to learn to trust the self. But I often run across people that are simply terrified of allowing the feelings. Here is what I suggest in this case.

Most of us feel little irritations throughout the day. Maybe we are listening to a news story and we feel perturbed by something we hear or we are on social media and we feel irritated by someone because they are not listening or we are a bit frustrated by something happening at work. Maybe it’s something as simple as feeling a bit irritated by something someone said but we don’t feel like we are really taking it personally. Take these opportunities to go into the feelings we are having. Go into those feelings and do the healing exercise that I outline in my blog on non resistance (non-resistance). Your brain will compute these as smaller things and feelings and you will learn to trust the process a bit more. This then puts you into a position of trusting the pain that you go through in life. It puts you in a position to learn to love the whole self and trust yourself fully because the fear of pain goes away and there is nothing left to distrust. The love of all your emotions begins to emerge and you trust how you feel at all times.

Know that you are loved and are divine.

Kim

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